Something that’s a constant battle for many of us is being confident. I know it’s easy to strive to be like our favourite influencer, parent, movie star or friend, but this lacks authenticity. Not to say the two go hand and hand, but I believe confident people radiate authenticity. Striving to be like others diminishes our sense of self-worth, as we end up wearing a multitude of masks depending on the company or situation.
Before going any further, I want to say that being confident goes far beyond displaying confidence in public or social media. It means being confident in the decisions we make even when they may not be entirely correct.
I say this because, from my experience, the people who outwardly display confidence are usually the ones who aren’t. They create a public self in the image of what others expect of them. In private, they are less confident in their decisions and actions. By doing this anxiety, self-doubt and repression make their way into their life, which eventually spills over into the public identity or leaves them trying to escape reality.
Believing in ourself
That said there are ways we can prevent the split between the public and private. The first way is to differentiate ourself from our minds because it occasionally leads us down a rabbit hole as it amplifies thoughts. As I said in the previous post, it’s quite simple. By silencing our mind or letting thought ripple in and out without focusing on a particular one, we remove the opportunity for spiralling. We learn how to use the mind, rather than allowing it to control us all the time.
Moreover, leaving the judgement behind because no matter what we do, it will always be there. The best way to do this is by moving forward with our choices instead of asking someone else or hoping others will approve. When it comes up or someone presents it, view it process it and move on. The goal is to build a sense of trust with ourself as it’s key to believing in ourselves, which leads to self confidence. Know that everything we need is at our fingertips. Furthermore, being ourselves will attract like-minded people and repel the rest.
If neither of these notions works for you, then remember this. Our path is ours no one can make us happy, whole, successful, smart, or any of the things we think we can’t do. Yes sometimes we need a helping hand but as a guide not a source of confidence or self-worth.