There are many approaches to living factually, because everyone has an outlook on the term. I was taught that living factually means to be present as much as possible by catching yourself in the stories that have been created. Hence, the last post was an introduction to this lifestyle.
Breaking it Down
In my last post, I mentioned that we create stories about everything, from our family relationships to everyday actions. This is unconsciously done by the brain most of the time as we prepare for new situations and interactions. The trick is to catch yourself, prevent the story from snowballing. Moreover, build up the courage to clear the mind as you wake up as well as throughout the day.
That said, I can catch myself in my stories through my ability to stay present or not. Presence is key for living factually, a skill to practice daily. When arguments or stress rises my presence disappears, stories and emotions take control.
A good example of this is when I get into an argument with someone who does not fully understand the subject matter. Rather than providing information, I go on the offensive to shut them down with the facts. Therefore, It shows that I am not just looking to end the argument but make them look bad at the same time. A notion that most people can resonate with or at least understand.
However, this situation can be avoided by focusing on what is being said rather than building an aggressive response. The main way to do this is through gaining presence. Allow the mind to be immersed in the current moment, take in the surroundings, process the words in the conversation, and be in touch with the body.
Being present goes hand in hand with living factually by shutting down the production of stories. As the stories dissipate, the facts can pour in. When this occurs you are no longer able to add extra onto the current situation. Moreover, regaining presence if it begins to fade.
However, I’d like to reiterate that this is a daily activity. Every time the mind begins to stray from the current circumstances, it is a choice to bring it back into focus or let it run wild.
The ability to live factually and stay present will eventually be an unconscious endeavour. Similar to the way creating stories and getting caught up in them used to be.
That said, this skill will change the outcome of daily life to provide a better experience. I can tell you from experience, the best days of my life are the ones I stay present throughout. The facts remove the anxiety and stress from all tasks. Furthermore, being present removes the expectations of situations and people. There is nothing that can be done to change the near future, but the current moment can be changed. Therefore, the goal is to make changes as they are needed, be ready for anything.
Think of it this way, as the situation changes disappointment rises due to unfulfilled expectations. For example; you are looking forward to an event, but the minute it is cancelled or plans change, emotions flood in. The same goes for relationships, there is so much extra added to the label and the person involved. As the situation shifts, a flood of emotions occurs that is unnecessarily amplified by expectations.
That said, it is a matter of accepting that this is the reality and facts are harsher than we can expect. This does not mean you have to stop letting the mind drift off, but you need to be able to differentiate the two. Thus, stories will not be able to have power and ruin the ability to be present.
As always, Hope you learned something from this post and are eager for more! Like, Share, Bookmark and get ready for more weekly content.